Autism is not a blessing

Autism is not a blessing.

It's a difference.

Which means it is not a curse, either.

Let me be clear: I am not saying my autistic child is a burden. Her name Gia means “God is Gracious” and she has quite literally been a gift from God. However, there is no way that I am going to invalidate or neglect the difficulties in her different abilities.

I refuse to minimize the disability which makes life significantly more challenging and at times literally painful for her to make others more comfortable or at ease with her neurodiversity - disability which equates to a feeding tube so that she can sustain the nutrition that her body needs to live and grow.

No way, will I minimize that.

It is an insult to the special needs family that needs residential care for their autistic loved one or the autistic person themselves to say that autism is a gift. It’s safe to say it is not a blessing to experience bullying, abuse, stigma, discrimination, and unequal employment and educational opportunities. Some of these Gia has already experienced, at age 7.

Now, the argument could be made - which I fully agree - the perception of a person's disability and limitations are not exclusive to their impairments, rather a consequence of society’s failure to provide inclusive support, accommodations and positive social attitudes towards our differently abled community members. When we purposefully design our environment in a way that is fully accessible, we turn disabilities into abilities. Nevertheless, Gia’s diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder makes her life harder than her neurotypical counterparts.

I love my daughter, her whole person. Which means I love her neurodivergent mind. We cannot separate autism from the person. This is true acceptance. Acceptance is accepting what is without trying to change or cure it. Acceptance supersedes awareness and demolishes ignorance. Differences are not bad, they are naturally occurring. When we honor Autism Acceptance Month each April, we are celebrating differences and accepting the whole person that is neurologically different.

The most recent data from the CDC states that one in 36 children are diagnosed with autism. Let’s put that into perspective. That’s one in 36 neurodivergent kiddos with disabilities. Children that will grow into autistic adults. This statistic should not scare you because autism shouldn’t scare you. Rather, I hope it calls for a sense of urgency for more information, accessibility, and acceptance. Fear keeps our autistic loved ones and community members segregated. Because well, that’s what fear does.

It is equally as important to note that by minimizing this invisible disability, it is not only harmful to the person on the spectrum, but to their caregivers, as well. It invalidates and silences caregivers from talking about their experiences and the supports that they need to live healthy lives. It is a double standard and harmful cycle.

My daughter is neurodivergent and has abilities that most of us can only imagine. She is a beautiful human being with a beautiful mind. She makes me smile every single day. She hugs the tightest, laughs the loudest, and her light shines bright. But I can think of no greater insult to her than to downplay the diagnosis that is disabling and makes life significantly harder for her than the rest of us. It is a fact that autistics think in ways that are astonishing and are fully capable; however it doesn’t extinguish the many difficulties they experience and have to endure in their lifetime.

There is no cure of autism. It’s not a childhood disability. It’s a lifelong different ability. Gia won’t outgrow her autism even long after she’s outgrown being cute. Our autistic friends and loved ones don’t need to be cured, they need to be accepted.

And while I’m at it, no, we are not “all on the spectrum”.

Frankly Christina